eye

surrender.

ever since

i've been with you, i can't write poetry anymore...





that's got to say something.
you went to go hangout and party with your friends (and i heard girls in the backround)
i didn't get to talk to you all day so i asked you to stay.
you said no.
i asked you who's it going to be your friends or me and your daughter...
"tonight it's my friends...click"




back to the same ol' shit.
you're never going to change.
your life is shit and piss and that's the only thing that keeps me holding onto you.
because i know i can help you change that.
i can help you make it all better.
but you don't want my help...obviously.




i need the strength to let you go.
i'm in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate the actions of the word and doesn't understand the meaning.


FML.

i can't

let myself give in...
basically i totally contradicted my last entry like the idiot that i am, in hopes that you were serious this time.
because you through God into it.
which was a tactic you had never tried before.
so it was new, and i'm a sucker and believe you.
that you were sincere anways...

it was going really good, my family got the Army into your head, and you tried full on, and it made me super proud.
we would read the bible with eachother every night, and i felt good, it gave me faith and hope for us.
nothing but happiness for these past two weeks.
i was sincerely happy.
and especially since the baby shower went super well, and i pretty much got everything i needed.
(still no help from you financially though)
but yeah, i guess you can say that in a way, i seen a new Leo being brought about.
all our times spent together were good, no fighting, all lovey dovey, and messing around, it was the old us, i felt in love with you again.
i felt like everything i wanted you to become in a father you were slowly becoming, and that just made me so happy.
we were even going to get married...

well i spoke too fast of course.
you let me down.