you know

it's all a game, that we play back a fourth, i leave you chase and we're back to square one.



not this time.
we've officially been broken up for 2 weeks and 4 days now.
it hurts it really does, because i thought this break up would really wake you up and make you change, and realize 'you don't know what you got until it's gone' type of thing, but really you don't care.
a few days after i got home from the hospital with the baby you were out doing the same things.
ignoring my calls. not coming over to see her. drinking with friends. going to bars. partying. using you helping me with the baby against me as some sort of punishment if i talked crap to you.
so i had it, i had to put a stop to it.
and i did in some sort of way.
once i broke up with you you started coming over more and helping me, and it was great, but it was only momentarily.
after that you were back to what you were always doing and even so much worse because you would tell me "well we aren't together remember", i thought you'd want to win me back and do everything you could in your power to get me back but i guess not.

it hurts so much, that everything i thought you felt for me IS indeed a lie.
your signals were mixed and misled, i guess it was really just all lies you put in my head...
i cry sometimes not really because i miss you but because i'm alone.
just me and nugget all by ourselves at night because my family is out and about doing things.
and when we do get the occasional call from you you're drunk, high, with friends, or even girls.
i never pictured it ending like this in such a mess, but it is.
and you know what, it's NOT my fault, it's yours.
you tell me over and over that the reason you don't straighten out your life is because we don't live together and according to you and your beliefs that happens to be my fault?
NEGATIVE.
if you would've gotten your shit together 9 months ago we wouldn't even be in this boat.
but then again, this life, growing up is not on your to-do list.
and as much as i would want it to be and want you to want all these things, i can't.
because you don't and you won't.
it breaks my heart that your gonna fall flat on your face, but maybe that's what has to happen to make you open your eyes and realize what you have.
but by that time, we'll be long gone.
i can't do anything about that.
i feel sorry for you, i really do.
because i love you and care about you.
i'm NOT in love with you though.
i was a long time ago, but you murdered whatever feelings i had for you.
i care about you more than you will ever know though.
which is why i want to push you out of that rut that you're in.

you're in a pile of shit but then again if you like the taste of shit i can't change that no matter how hard i try.
honestly if you would've acted  differently or done things differently we wouldn't be here and i wouldn't be typing this.

but you didn't you did everything wrong no matter how many times i warned you of what i would do.
but you didn't care and you still don't.

supposedly you planned on winning me back in the future, yet you've been hanging out with girls...already.
i'm letting you know, that i'm letting you go.

sure i'll cry from time to time, but it just saddens me...well you're whole ordeal.


but it's not my fault, you made your bed so lye in it.
i don't wish anything bad for your life, i wish you the best in all honesty, with or without me, i really do.
make Eve your daughter proud. make her proud of her daddy with the things that you do and accomplish.
PLEASE, for your own good.
i want you to go somewhere in life and turn your life around.
i understand that the life that you live is all that you know, but it doesn't have to be that way Leo.
it really doesn't.
you're so much better than that, because like i told you if you keep heading down this path with the life that you're living, you're only going to end up just like your uncle.

i love you, and so does Eve, and i always will.
i'm sorry for everything, i wish you love and happiness.

but most of all, i hope you change your life and find God.
because he's the only one who can help you now...

Eve Lillia Castro

She is my world.
And her daddy breaks my heart every single day.

please

just disappear from our life.
you cause nothing but pain, you know nothing about love.
you're only with me because we're having a baby remember?

wow, i am so dang lucky to have such a great catch like you?
HA HA HA.



she'll be here in 3 days if not any minute...
and you still have nothing, and you still treat me like shit
my patience tolerance for you is slowly disintegrating


it's 11 months with you and i've never been truly happy.
time to let go esther...