dear mom and dad,

i fucking hate you both with every breath i take
with every inch of my soul
i pray i will never wake,,,up in your presence
maybe one day, you won't smell my essence
i know, you both are crossing your fingers
that tia keeps me until the thought lingers
you wanna know why i never eat, cuz everyday the thought makes me sick
knowing i'm here with you, god you guys are fucking pricks
i swear to you, i can't do this anymore
we're both counting down the days til' i walk out that dooor
don't pretend that you fucking love me
the only shit i recall is all days you shove me
fuck man, we fight every fucking day
and you wonder, why the fuck i've gone astray
tell me, what the fuck do you expect
for me to sit here, shuttup, and neglect...
the fact that you don't want me in your life
all you say is "esther you bring us nothing but strife"
well then, what the fuck, just let me leave
don't sit here and pretend i'll be something you'll grieve
we all know, how you really feel
you wish i was imaginary, you wish i wasn't real
well that's prettty cool, i guess
um, parents have anything else you wanna confesss..
like how, i'm your least favorite child
you let it be known, um i'm not worth your while
and you wonder, why the fuck i hate being home
because at the end of the day i'm in my room all alone
god, everyday is fight
there's not one day we go with a quiet night
uhhh, fuck all this anger and frustration
you already told me, i'm god's worst creation
haha i bet if i died, i wouldn't be something you'd misss
i bet your last words to me would be "rest in pisss"♥



sincerely,
Esther Elaine Leon

eye I aye

don't give a fuck, and i never really did
but meeting me is something that can never be undid
no matter how much you will try, i will always be there
in the back of you mind, in your every thought, i know it's just not fair
i've made such an impact on you, your in denial
all you do is wish, you can put me away like some sort of file
it's too bad that you can't, it's not that i won't let you
it's just you don't want to, cuz ure lying if you say your done with me, cuz we know it's not true...

bleh BLAH bL3h

you are the best and the worst
you make me smile and you make me frown
you make me sick and you make me feel good
you make me mad and you make me happy
you make feel weird and you make me feel normal
i feel sane and insane all in one.




you are gayer than the word itself, stupid asssHOLE
♥

7.21

today can suckkk my asss hole
>:[

finallly

i found what i'm getting on my other side♥

ughhhhhhhhhhh

i don't fucking get you
i don't fucking get you
i don't fucking get you
what do you want
what do you want
what the fuck do you want
i don't even know
i don't even know
i don't even know


D3@d

ohhh baby boy,

i am not down for your games,
i'll put your asss to fucking shame
your asss thought you were slickkk,
too bad i found out pretty quickkkk
trying to get me to give you dome,
shutttup bitch your gonna end up alone
haha and you saying your gonna handle,
bitch if i'd fuck you it'd be an embarrassing scandle
tryna act like you were outtta this world like a comit,
when really you only made me wanna fucking vomit
sure boy you did indeed make me blushhhh,
you said we were gonna keep it on the hushhh
feeeling the neeed to constantly impresss me,
too bad your asss will never get to undresss me
i always wondered why you had to constantly lie,
fuck your shit bitch you don't even know how do get H I G H
you had me thinking for a second that you were unique,
too bad your a wannabe that passed his peek
don't worrry i'm not even tripppin,
cuz baby girls pimpin never simpinn
just thought i'd let you know what a fucking faggit you are,
don't worrry bitch you didn't leave a scar♥



♥
i get DOWN!

the realm of possibility

"A year. A thousand kisses. And now a thousand one, a thousand two. There are so many other places we could have ended up, but I have to believe none of them would have felt this right. All I want is you is not entirely true. I want so much more, and with you I think I can get it."


"She's cinematic and I'm a fucking sitcom."


"You will always be my always."





♥

this is

indeeed a sin, too bad the shit makes me grinnn
♥

maryjane!

maryyyy go roundddd, i wannnnt youuuu♥

it suckkkkks

that i have many options, but i only want you...







































assshole

you and i,

have always had unfinished buisnessssss
i'm guesssing that's the only reason why you haunt me in my dreams...

once upon a time...

you make me fucking sick, you fucking piece of shitt♥

so yahhh, i've been thinking alot, A LOT, too much, too far, past the peek of thinking, i had an intense day yesterday, it was a bit muchhh for my mind to comprehend, let's just say my parental unit is now aware of the fact that i pufff the magic dragon♥;;

yea, so i'm guessing i'm grounded?

idk but they blamed it all on the people i hang out with of course, but i sat down and informed them they can't blame my actions on someone else, i was never influenced, if anything i was THEE influence, i smoke because i want to, because i loveLOVElove the feeling, not because anyone makes me or tells me too, but because I WANT TO!

and after that, they couldn't possibly hate my friends for things i did, i've been smoking since spring break 8th grade, on and off, and been smoking NONstop for more than two years now, why would i stop now?

i want to but i don't but i do

i think way too much for a human's own good, i'm no where near the word normal, and i never will be

i see things i shouldn't, and my brain is my worst enemy...

but all in all, i'm gonna see where this all takes me

i can stay sober if i wanted too, but i don't want to, weed isn't something i need though, it's something that i want, i'm probably not going to smoke as much, but maryjane has invaded every spot in my brain, there is no way she can get outtt

i'm gonna stay in summer school, get shit done

stay working out til' i reach my goal

do my ROP cosmetology

get my carr

graduate

go to college

get buisness degree

or become a probation officer

i got it all planned out

&& no one will get in my way

i love my friends to death, i really do

but i guess this is all just a test to see if they do too...♥?

&& the whole boy thing

fuck that puto, he tries to hard to be different it's pathetic

and why do you find that you always have to lie to me about things that aren't even true?

i bet you don't even pop pilllls fagggg, haha

it's okay, i was lowering my standards for the moment, oooops

you wouldn't be able to handle anyways, your too much of a fucking pusssy

i'll always be the best, you NEVER hadd homehhhhh

sometimes

i'm make myself so fucking sick
where i can't sleep, and the only feeling i have is nausea





make it go away

only

time will tell...

my

dad is a pathetic excuse for a fucking man
my mom is a pathetic excuse for a fucking "christian"





i hate being in either of your presence
you nauseate me.

ya

freaking

HIGH, as a kite;;♥


haha sometimes i think that horoscopes are trippy for the fact that they're always in some way right
ima dumbassss



"You may be at odds with yourself today because you cannot find a comfortable position between too much and not enough. Although you are usually skilled at handling details, your current optimism makes it easy for you to take on more than you can deliver because you are missing crucial pieces of information. It's okay to let your mind run away with the possibilities, but keep reminding yourself that common sense is your biggest asset."

&& there's the numer of the day, haha


"Today brings with it a grand opportunity for healing your mind and body. Get rest, and treat yourself to a massage or some other rejuvenating 'time out.' You may have a conversation later in the day that helps you strengthen your bond with another."












TRIPP;;

please tell me,

why i am not fucking surprised...idk i don't want to jump to any conclusions
i shouldn't let this bother me






whatever, gonna go smoke a bleeeezy♥

murrrrrrr

you make me sick, and i love it...



=]