Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
the grouch
couldn't have said it better...
Beautiful not deadly, fuckin with my head G
Infiltrated quick I thought I, peeped the skit already
Steady on my track then, mack mack mack mackin
Excruciate the action, no more jack jack jack jackin
the Jim off, she went off on a tangent tryin to kick it
I said no commitments I just needed a place to stick it
She was with it, I would hit it all the time it was mine
without, really bein mine and that was fine she wanted more
She's like poor, I'ma show you that, I'm the only one for you
Make your life real fun for you give unto you that's all I want to do
Beautiful not deadly, fuckin with my head G
Infiltrated quick I thought I, peeped the skit already
Steady on my track then, mack mack mack mackin
Excruciate the action, no more jack jack jack jackin
the Jim off, she went off on a tangent tryin to kick it
I said no commitments I just needed a place to stick it
She was with it, I would hit it all the time it was mine
without, really bein mine and that was fine she wanted more
She's like poor, I'ma show you that, I'm the only one for you
Make your life real fun for you give unto you that's all I want to do
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
this and that
basically i have a frog in my throat
with this situation i cannot cope
every inch of my body wants to get up and leave you behind
viewing my life, there's no deception, i am not blind
i'm trying to achieve all that i can
but thoughts of you aren't special, they're actually pretty bland
i don't mean for my flame of love for you to be put out
but in actuality it's dryer than a desert in a drought
i'm sorry i can't lie to you anymore
i just have to take out all the buried feelings from the core
when i look into your eyes i see no love for me
you just put up with me to a tolerable degree
in all honesty i've never gave up so much to satisfy a person
but if i stay my hatred for you will worsen
you sat around and let me know the plans you had for my life
you would gather opinion on how i should be the perfect wife
the only thought that would cross my mind, was that i had one more year
but you wouldn't leave me alone, you had the will to persevere
you know that i can't stand be home
if i could, it would be the streets i would roam
but you, you see my desire to spread my wings and leave
in your eyes it's not a positive thing you would like to perceive
i can never help the fact that you've made me grow such disgust
towards you, hearing your nagging i've grown so robust
i want you to know that i am soon to be gone
to be in your precense, i've chose to be withdrawn
don't take this personal, it's not that i don't love you
i always will, it's just your something i can no longer persue
it's just that, i don't know how much more i can possibly try
to make you proud, in your eyes my rivers run dry
it's sad to know that you've given up on me
it's okay, i'll proove you wrong, therefore i do disagree
i know myself and what i'm capable of
so just as you did to me, when i'm famous it is you i will shove...
mom
with this situation i cannot cope
every inch of my body wants to get up and leave you behind
viewing my life, there's no deception, i am not blind
i'm trying to achieve all that i can
but thoughts of you aren't special, they're actually pretty bland
i don't mean for my flame of love for you to be put out
but in actuality it's dryer than a desert in a drought
i'm sorry i can't lie to you anymore
i just have to take out all the buried feelings from the core
when i look into your eyes i see no love for me
you just put up with me to a tolerable degree
in all honesty i've never gave up so much to satisfy a person
but if i stay my hatred for you will worsen
you sat around and let me know the plans you had for my life
you would gather opinion on how i should be the perfect wife
the only thought that would cross my mind, was that i had one more year
but you wouldn't leave me alone, you had the will to persevere
you know that i can't stand be home
if i could, it would be the streets i would roam
but you, you see my desire to spread my wings and leave
in your eyes it's not a positive thing you would like to perceive
i can never help the fact that you've made me grow such disgust
towards you, hearing your nagging i've grown so robust
i want you to know that i am soon to be gone
to be in your precense, i've chose to be withdrawn
don't take this personal, it's not that i don't love you
i always will, it's just your something i can no longer persue
it's just that, i don't know how much more i can possibly try
to make you proud, in your eyes my rivers run dry
it's sad to know that you've given up on me
it's okay, i'll proove you wrong, therefore i do disagree
i know myself and what i'm capable of
so just as you did to me, when i'm famous it is you i will shove...
mom
Monday, August 24, 2009
i did
it, to myself
and idk what this means from here on out,
i am being reassured one thing, but i aren't we all?
most of the time, i'm always right about my accusations...
and it sucks
and idk what this means from here on out,
i am being reassured one thing, but i aren't we all?
most of the time, i'm always right about my accusations...
and it sucks
Thursday, August 20, 2009
take a guesss<3
i remember the first day i saw you, you were wearing a pigwheels sweater,
it was january 26, 2007, seeing you for the first time couldn't have made my day any better
i didn't know you, i only had you for one class,
you would always get suspended cuz you were a smart asss
you were the definition of different and no where near practical,
i wanted to ask you so many things, but words wouldn't come out you made me feel something magical
i found it pretty cute that you would sit under a tree alone at lunch,
occassionally come play hacky-sack with me and my bunch
freshman year passed and still we lacked conversation,
and then when i'd look at you, i'd feel my stomach fall in another location
a year had passsed and you became friends with mine
believe me, knowing this i was in hopes that we would interwine...
in some way, and we did,
i started to find out more and more about you, you were the coolest kid
even though most of our dialogue consisted of discussing nights under the influence,
i just wanted to talk, i didn't mind about your truence
just as long as we spoke, you always made me laugh and smile i couldn't complain
i liked you, but i knew it was our friendship i had to maintain
to me, you were the most attractive boy at our school and you had the cutest face
i loved it when you'd hug me, i felt your warm embrace
it was the end of the year, our time was near
i didn't want to leave knowing you weren't gonna be here
because i was going to a new school and you were going back to cat city
i had no choice but to let go of you, still no pity
it was my first day at my new school, and i seen someone who looked just like you
it was 2 months since i've seen you, were my eyes playing a trick on me or is what i was seeing sincerely true?
we spent the whole morning talking about our summer and how faded we got,
but knowing you were back and here to stay made me a little distraught
actually it threw me off alot, cuz i thought you were gone
and i made myself completely move on
but no, plans change and i'm back to square one
all my feelings came back, oh god what have you done
everyday we would sit and talk,
it was a routine, get off the bus and walk...
together, in all honesty i wouldn't have it any other way
you made me smile, think positive, and all in all enjoy my day
i remember the every morning highs,
we were no joke, we'd smoke on the bus, and this is no lie
but most of all, i won't forget
being high at my house, not saying things to you i should of, and now i regret
i can't believe how much we have in common,
i don't know i think to much and live my life with caution
ohh well, everyday i've always admired you and all your flaws,
to me there's nothing wrong with you, no matter how many times you break the laws
the thing i love about you, is your not afraid and you don' give two shits about what people think,
for crying out loud, at the bus stop it was old english 40's you would drink
i love the fact that ure an artist, a bad boy, and a poet all in one,
you know about life and all that can be won
our friendship keeps growing day by day,
i just pray that you will never go astray
which is why i can't tell you how i feel,
i want to, cuz i know that i can bring something real
but for now, i'm satisfied with our hourly phone calls,
i love that we talk about everything from setbacks to the color of our walls
i just think it's weird how when i think ure gone ure really not,
me knowing that throw's me off and makes me distraught
i'll tell you how i feel someday...
maybe monday but just not today♥
it was january 26, 2007, seeing you for the first time couldn't have made my day any better
i didn't know you, i only had you for one class,
you would always get suspended cuz you were a smart asss
you were the definition of different and no where near practical,
i wanted to ask you so many things, but words wouldn't come out you made me feel something magical
i found it pretty cute that you would sit under a tree alone at lunch,
occassionally come play hacky-sack with me and my bunch
freshman year passed and still we lacked conversation,
and then when i'd look at you, i'd feel my stomach fall in another location
a year had passsed and you became friends with mine
believe me, knowing this i was in hopes that we would interwine...
in some way, and we did,
i started to find out more and more about you, you were the coolest kid
even though most of our dialogue consisted of discussing nights under the influence,
i just wanted to talk, i didn't mind about your truence
just as long as we spoke, you always made me laugh and smile i couldn't complain
i liked you, but i knew it was our friendship i had to maintain
to me, you were the most attractive boy at our school and you had the cutest face
i loved it when you'd hug me, i felt your warm embrace
it was the end of the year, our time was near
i didn't want to leave knowing you weren't gonna be here
because i was going to a new school and you were going back to cat city
i had no choice but to let go of you, still no pity
it was my first day at my new school, and i seen someone who looked just like you
it was 2 months since i've seen you, were my eyes playing a trick on me or is what i was seeing sincerely true?
we spent the whole morning talking about our summer and how faded we got,
but knowing you were back and here to stay made me a little distraught
actually it threw me off alot, cuz i thought you were gone
and i made myself completely move on
but no, plans change and i'm back to square one
all my feelings came back, oh god what have you done
everyday we would sit and talk,
it was a routine, get off the bus and walk...
together, in all honesty i wouldn't have it any other way
you made me smile, think positive, and all in all enjoy my day
i remember the every morning highs,
we were no joke, we'd smoke on the bus, and this is no lie
but most of all, i won't forget
being high at my house, not saying things to you i should of, and now i regret
i can't believe how much we have in common,
i don't know i think to much and live my life with caution
ohh well, everyday i've always admired you and all your flaws,
to me there's nothing wrong with you, no matter how many times you break the laws
the thing i love about you, is your not afraid and you don' give two shits about what people think,
for crying out loud, at the bus stop it was old english 40's you would drink
i love the fact that ure an artist, a bad boy, and a poet all in one,
you know about life and all that can be won
our friendship keeps growing day by day,
i just pray that you will never go astray
which is why i can't tell you how i feel,
i want to, cuz i know that i can bring something real
but for now, i'm satisfied with our hourly phone calls,
i love that we talk about everything from setbacks to the color of our walls
i just think it's weird how when i think ure gone ure really not,
me knowing that throw's me off and makes me distraught
i'll tell you how i feel someday...
maybe monday but just not today♥
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
and we're back
where we started, fighting again and again and again, i wanna throw up, i'm doing so good, i'm the daughter you've been fighting for me to be, and yet in your eyes i'm not, it just kills me that everything i do is nothing and never will be, in all honesty i just want to move away, and i'm not even sure if i want to visit you or call you, i just want to move far away and become very successful, maybe just maybe then you will "verbally" tell me you love me, cuz according to you, you have no need to say it if you express it by going to work everyday, whatever, don't say anything to me, at all, anymore...EVER!
i just wannnna huge ol' bong ripp, sadly i think maryjane has a rope tied around my waste, and she's pulling me, she's pulling me in, she's pulling me closer, and i'm on the ground trying to hold anything i can to prevent me from reaching her completely, my fingernails are injected to the earths surface while they're scratching against the dirt, i'm fighting my demons on the daily, but i think i'm loosing...
i just wannnna huge ol' bong ripp, sadly i think maryjane has a rope tied around my waste, and she's pulling me, she's pulling me in, she's pulling me closer, and i'm on the ground trying to hold anything i can to prevent me from reaching her completely, my fingernails are injected to the earths surface while they're scratching against the dirt, i'm fighting my demons on the daily, but i think i'm loosing...
Friday, August 14, 2009
in all
HONESTY, i really can't say that i've ever stopped liking you...
=]]]]]
it's not who you may think, but you know
♥
=]]]]]
it's not who you may think, but you know
♥
Thursday, August 13, 2009
one more please,
when i walk away and you see me turn my head, i honestly can't say i'll feel sorry for you when your dead♥
2deh
she's been real from the start, i love everything about her, she is literally the definition of a true friend, sure we've had our up's and downs, or our misunderstanding cuz in actuality that's all they were, we've never really faught about anything, and this is one of the only friends that i have that actual give the equal amount of effort as i do, through everything we've had our differences, i did what i did with the friends i did it with, and she respected it and still tried to maintain our friendship, which is something i respect cuz even though she disagreed with what i used to do, she was still always there and always cared, she has the biggest heart with the best intensions, i can be my COMPLETE i mean COMPLETE self around her, i tell her anything that is on my mind and she does the same, we have a mutual understanding of eachother, and we've taken vows to always be there for eachother and so far we've lived up to them to the fulllest, she's god's gift to this earth, sheyla lopez♥ everybody...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
my last
about you, you fucking wannnabe asss fooo
i know you wake up on the daily, trying to figure out new ways to be cool
your actually pathetic, unapologetic, too bad i'm not sympathetic
at the fact that some day your gonna die, and i'll be waving from earth telling your asss hi
actually i'm not gonna waste my time saying hi while your burning in hell, i'm just gonna write to leaving you with my bittersweet farewell
how can you say you laugh at death, i'm sure you ain't gonna be laughing when someone stabs you in the chest
and you realize you will no longer exist, believe laughing is something you will indeed resist
i've never met someone who strived to be someone they were not, trying to act like you were original well ure ass got caught...
in many lies not just one, actually making you look stupid is pretty fun
i find it sickening that i actually used to like you, but i found out your true colors your intensions weren't true
it's okay though i wish the best for you and your girl, i'm suprised when she's see's your face she don't even hurrl
you know with any girl your with it's always gonna be beauty and the beast, don't worry they'll all move on once your deceased
i apologize if by writing this your getting hurt, haa fuck it your worth to me will always be less that dirt
or ground zero, i promise you that one day you'll NEVER be a hero
all in all i think i've gotten my point across, i now know that this is all your loss♥
i know you wake up on the daily, trying to figure out new ways to be cool
your actually pathetic, unapologetic, too bad i'm not sympathetic
at the fact that some day your gonna die, and i'll be waving from earth telling your asss hi
actually i'm not gonna waste my time saying hi while your burning in hell, i'm just gonna write to leaving you with my bittersweet farewell
how can you say you laugh at death, i'm sure you ain't gonna be laughing when someone stabs you in the chest
and you realize you will no longer exist, believe laughing is something you will indeed resist
i've never met someone who strived to be someone they were not, trying to act like you were original well ure ass got caught...
in many lies not just one, actually making you look stupid is pretty fun
i find it sickening that i actually used to like you, but i found out your true colors your intensions weren't true
it's okay though i wish the best for you and your girl, i'm suprised when she's see's your face she don't even hurrl
you know with any girl your with it's always gonna be beauty and the beast, don't worry they'll all move on once your deceased
i apologize if by writing this your getting hurt, haa fuck it your worth to me will always be less that dirt
or ground zero, i promise you that one day you'll NEVER be a hero
all in all i think i've gotten my point across, i now know that this is all your loss♥
Sunday, August 9, 2009
i couldn't
be more conent right about now,
everything is going goood, i've more than realized that i deserve 777777000000x's better than what you proclaim yourself to be, i don't need a wannabe or a liar, that's disgusting, and i shoulda seen it from the begginning
anyways, you should apologize for wasting my time♥
but nonOTHER than that, today was so gooood, i feeel like i'm at the top of a mountain looking down at everything, it's amazing, it's like things are so in perspective, like everything, today is 1 week i haven't fought with my mother, and 1 month and 2 days sober and going strong, i can feel myself changing, and i don't think my "friends" are going to like it, but i am prepared to loose who i may loose, it'll just show that they weren't real friends in the first place, i'm so happpy i wanna cry, haha but really, i'm readyy for anything
i'm not the same, things will never be the same
but for the better...
♥
everything is going goood, i've more than realized that i deserve 777777000000x's better than what you proclaim yourself to be, i don't need a wannabe or a liar, that's disgusting, and i shoulda seen it from the begginning
anyways, you should apologize for wasting my time♥
but nonOTHER than that, today was so gooood, i feeel like i'm at the top of a mountain looking down at everything, it's amazing, it's like things are so in perspective, like everything, today is 1 week i haven't fought with my mother, and 1 month and 2 days sober and going strong, i can feel myself changing, and i don't think my "friends" are going to like it, but i am prepared to loose who i may loose, it'll just show that they weren't real friends in the first place, i'm so happpy i wanna cry, haha but really, i'm readyy for anything
i'm not the same, things will never be the same
but for the better...
♥
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
CUNtent
i can see everything clearly
i feel like god can finally hear me
the things i don't need in my life are eliminated
makes things a whole lot less complicated
i now know what i want and how i'm going to get it
it's not going to be easy, indeed i will admit it
i'm gonna find someone who's gonna admire my crooked edge
not someone who's gonna try and push me over the ledge
i am indeeed pretty content
i don't regret the things that came and went
it all happend for a reason i guesss
if it turned out wrong i did clean up the messs
i'm happy with the way things are going
can't you see my smile, is it showing?
don't worry you can't rain on my parade
not even the guy with the face of a spade...
♥
only few would know what i meant about the last sentence
anways, big bear was amazing, i loved it
<3333333333333333
pichhhures sooooon
and todeh, was goood
chillled with shy
then went to church with adam and chillled with him
he's super cooooool
and now, sleeeeeeeeep hopefullly
=]
i feel like god can finally hear me
the things i don't need in my life are eliminated
makes things a whole lot less complicated
i now know what i want and how i'm going to get it
it's not going to be easy, indeed i will admit it
i'm gonna find someone who's gonna admire my crooked edge
not someone who's gonna try and push me over the ledge
i am indeeed pretty content
i don't regret the things that came and went
it all happend for a reason i guesss
if it turned out wrong i did clean up the messs
i'm happy with the way things are going
can't you see my smile, is it showing?
don't worry you can't rain on my parade
not even the guy with the face of a spade...
♥
only few would know what i meant about the last sentence
anways, big bear was amazing, i loved it
<3333333333333333
pichhhures sooooon
and todeh, was goood
chillled with shy
then went to church with adam and chillled with him
he's super cooooool
and now, sleeeeeeeeep hopefullly
=]
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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