It's brutal

Literally fighting with demons in an actual argument over someone's soul.

I got that power tho, thanks to God.

Deleted

ALL of my social networks.
Social media makes me instantly revert to my old flesh.

Something I read, something I look into, someone from my past talks to me, or just the negativity it brings period just irks me and allows me to get back into my flesh.
Mostly of anger and frustration and just plainly wanting to shooot everyone.
The hypocritical and fakeness the oozes out of people is what I can't stand.
Do not profess your faith, and preach to the world WHEN YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THE WORLD.
Behind a screen it's so easy to play the big ol' Christian when in reality having a conversation with you is nothing like the Godly man you claim to be.

And it's not like people mess up and dust themselves off and try and do better.
These people live, and bathe in their sins and mistakes with no intention on changing their ways other than claiming  to do so on the internet.
I can't stand it.
And it's all I see.

I trust no one, not even the people who profess Jesus as thier Lord and Savior.
I'm going off of your fruit.
I'll believe you once I see you're fruit.
Cause as of now, all of the people I've encountered, EVERY SINGLE ONE is a fake.
And they grow nothing but rotten fruit.

So until I learn through God and am able to cope in a loving way I just need to steer clear from these people and especially exposing myself to such people.
I don't have love for people, so technically in Gods eyes I have nothing.
So if I want to be fruitful myself and grow in God and in love, I must go to these drastic measures.
I need to pull myself out of the mud and dive into God completely 100% whole heartedly.

I'm having a major heart-check and God is going to renew my mind.
It's for the better of my eternity.
I don't serve myself anymore.
Whatever God asks of me, I must do without question.
Whether or not I feel that I'm losing something, if you love me you'll understand why I have to do what I'm doing.

YOU LOOK BETTER WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

Your heart is fucking black
and everything that surrounds you dies
I hope each breath you breathe
You miss me and a piece of you dies
And for every lie I beleived
I hope you choke on the regret that it brings

I am the ruin of ever single thing you've ever loved
Fu fu fuck you!

You are nothing and no one will ever care
You are nothing and you are less than air

When I'm done with you
Your face will look like modern art
And I'll feed to you, that piece of shit that you call a heart
You couldn't comprehend any damage that you caused
So get off your knees this love can't be swallowed

Your love is just a word.

fuck you. fuck this. fuck your motherfuckin life.

I wanna choke the life out of you
and watch you slip away

I wanna breathe your death
and watch you decay

Ill ruin your hope and swallow your dreams
I am ruin, the ruin of everything

Liferuiner.

Life Ruin Her.

CAUTION

I AM UNDER CONSTRUCTION.




My life has been dedicated to God for about two months now, but I've been discouraged and hurt.
And fell multiple times thinking that I would be forced to stay stuck in my mud.
But God shows me on a daily basis that my life is meant to be his and only his.
My strength grows daily just as my relationship with God has.

I've reached a really happy and content place in my life.
I have my moments where I back-track but mostly into my emotional feelings.
I get into moments where I want to be creative and write so I allow myself to sulk in feelings and emotions that God has gotten rid of.
But for what?
FOR WHAT?


I'm never going back to the old me or my life.
I'm better than that and stronger than that.
I know there are a few individuals that are waiting or even plotting my demise, but keep try because as long as God is by my side well no one will stand a chance.



Praise the Lord for my cellibacy by the way.
It's been a hard long road, but I'm grateful for God letting me know my worth.
His plan for my life is just starting.
I've never been happier to know that I'm apart of the few that were chosen to serve him.



I'm just a vessel, but I will take souls home with me.

My last post...

In regards to that picture, I don't think people understand my attachment and relation to things of that nature.

My heart is held in the casket of a dead man, Leo is dead. His soul is dead.

And every man I've been with after him has been dead in their own way too.

Which is why I call myself 'Diva De Los Muertos'.

And that song by Sadistik pretty much describes me.

KNOW ONE.

The truth?

The truth is, I like pain. I like it because I think I deserve it.

Don't dread me,

I'm not the woman you think I am, don't dread me...anymore.

Tsk Tsk Tsk

I pity the woman who will love you when I am done.
She will show up to your first date with a dustpan and broom, ready to pick up all the pieces I left you in.
She will hear my name so often, it will begin to dig holes in her.
That is where doubt will grow.
She will look at your neck, your thin hips, your mouth...wondering at the way I touched you.

She will make you all the promises I did and some I never could.
She will hear only the terrible stories.
How I drank.
How I lied.
She will wonder (as I have) how someone as wonderful as you could love a monster like the woman who came before her.

Still she will compete with my ghost.
She will understand why you do not look in the back of closets, why you are afraid of what's under the bed.
She will know every corner of you is haunted by me.

That's all you ever did.

Idk if its me or him.

“She’s so hard to stay away from


My friends always say I’m dumb and that she’s dangerous


But I’m so insane I trust my lust for her

Other girls are a lackluster blur


She wack, but I always end up thrustin’ her


Against the wall


Fuckin’ her should be against the law


The contradictions in her are the contradictions of us all


With that ADHD, I’m like, “Baby it’s me.
Can I ABC/see you out of that baby tee?"

There’s no maybe G, she’s fuckin’ crazy

And that’s the fuckin’ trick, that we be fuckin’ crazy


I’m losin’ it

I’m think she’s startin’ to phase me


Every time I leave her she looks at me like, “Save me.”