to start off

the 09' why not get rid of the 08' stresss
well to start off on a good note i FINALLY watched The Dark Knight and it was one of the most amazing movies i have ever seen, might just go right along side my two fav's Fight Club && American History X and yes all three are demented movies but i like em'
cuz ima weirdo


anyways so today, i stayed home, slept in til 11ishhh, then got ready for work, went to work, interesting car ride with cesar, haha, i love that kid,,anyways came home and watched the dark knight, way to keep it gangster

so this whole boy thing, like whenever i talk to boys, i feel bad, cuz i know that there's only ONE person that i truely madly deeply like, or am infatuated with, his name starts with a J and ends with a Y, and that's where my infatuation will always be, so maybe ima meanie telling the other boys 'no i don't like anyone' when really i do, whata devil

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
for the bad part, i'm having prolllllllems with a homehhh, but what can we do? but i did run into an old friend from LQ, it was so nice seeing her today, i kinda miss her, cuz she was a super good friend, hmm well yea


for tha wEiRd0 part, i have discoverd that divorce is worse than death, why you ask? well when someone dies, sure you miss them, and visit their grave with flowers occassionally, but i mean you can't do that for the rest of your life, they're no longer living, soon you have to carry on and stop reminiscing about the life they once had and carry on with your own, then eventually their death doesn't take such a brutal toel on you as it once had, then comes the closure when you finally let that person go. While on the other hand divorce, it doesn't matter what age you are, it still hits you like a ton of bricks, cuz everyday it is a constant reminder, seeing one parent or the other, the one that is happy with their new life or the one that is missing what they had with their once upon a time spouse, and being the child, and being taunted with a possibility of you parents being something again is horriffic, atleast with death, the person is gone forever, while divorce they're not, they're both there carrying on in their own way, a way you might love or a way you might hate, well in my case, i hate it, i mean no one, i mean no one can relate to my situation, having my dad HAVE the opportunity to come home is amazing, but him not coming home cuz he'd rather play his game is fucking pathetic, it just shows my worth in my father's life, watching my life fall apart in every way possible sucks, but it's only cause daddy wants to play WOW for a couple a years, and when he wakes up fat, poor, and alone wondering what happend, he can look at his fucking computer screen.

not only was 07' and 08' the worst two years of my life, but i became the worst person i've ever met,

my new years reselution for 09', is to be happy all the time like i was when i was in 8th grade, loose weight, get ALL my credits, and remove the PHONY 'homies'


may year 09' be something fine