basically

it all comes down to now this very moment...
to think that life starts with a breath of air and ends with a breath of air,
what a pattern?
everything in life is made out of patterns, from start to finish.
it's either pattern or strategy, either way we end up going back. idk exactly where i'm going with this but i'm going. the human mind has so much power, yet we lack self esteem...are we supposed to be full of ourselves? are we supposed to live up to our complete capability?
well i've messed up, in more ways than just 1 or 2 or 3 multiply those numbers by 111 and tell me what you get...
all in all i strongly believe i have given up, on "friends", on trying with my family, on everything, the quote is true every man for himself they are not being sarcastic in any way, shape, or form...
i don't mind going through life on my own, figureing things out on my own, being stuck in my head for longer than i should be, i just want to take a huge breath of air i've never inhaled before, air away from here...far far away from here, somewhere where i'm going to chill && have no worries, a new start, a new chapter, everything that was once upon a time...fairytale perfect for me down here, has shattered into many pieces, i found a few pieces but most are gone forever...
things are never going to be the same, time spent away from people you were so close to gives them the opportunity to view and experience life without you, and they get used to it, and it's not as bad as they thought, then they talk to you finally and they are comfortable where they are at...they are fine
which is why people like me make the mistake of trusting, trusting someone with my inner thoughts, with my feelings, with pieces of my past, with my wants, with my needs, with my friendship...
because in the blink of an eye they will vanish, and you will have no one to run to, no one to talk to about any of those things, no one

yet they say, they're are always going to be there, but that is fiction once again, along with every other promise they made to you, which is why I esther Leon, will never trust again
because every person i've ever put trust into prooved me right, they let me fall down and laughed about it
so yes, fuck the world, and every fucking fake person in it
i'm not saying i'm the realest person out there, but i'm real
i care more than any normal human being should, and get nothing back
so yes, fuck you very much♥


i don't want anything in return, i'm going to do it all on my own
and i'm going to be fine, without anyone
proove me wrong? i highly doubt anyone will ever...