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we'll see if time brings change
little did i know that that phrase can mean so much, or have so much meaning behind it
just like "and she fades away" you may not see it or allow yourself to see the truth that you created in an art project, but it's there, in it's own subliminal way
you will never have the ability to see from my point of view until you are in my shoes yourself, i can't get it out of my head, i can't i just can't, i've tried and i've tried, but every time i talk to you the same thing plays in my head over and over,
simply, that ever word i say is of no meaning to you, every thing i talk about is of complete unimportance, because i am just as "blind" as the others, just as ignorant as all the maggits walking the earth,
for the simple fact that i am not happy all the time...

because i haven't grasped the "powers" i am capable of but you guys have, because i'm not allowing myself to have an "open mind", because i can't meditate or create my own outer body experience without substance, and you guys can, forgive me for not being some sort of supreme being or the son of Ghandi...

this little discovery has taken off your blinders to the world, and allows you to sit back and laugh at all the people who don't have what you apparantly do, heartless much?
little do you all know, that the type of people you once hated you are becoming
because the type of people i hate, you are becoming...

every single conversation i've had with you on the phone, is contained with how the discovery is changing you day by day, and changing the way you view things, and changing EVERYTHING, whether you want to accept it or not, what happened to conversations about life, people, relationships, problems, world, things that weren't consumed with you...

what you DON'T understand, is the fact that when you constantly explain to me your complete and utter bliss and happiness, and how you have learned how to block every problem out so you can always be happy, how do you think that makes me feel? how am i supposed to be comfortable talking to you about anything? not everything in my life is consumed with happiness? i'm not always happy? i'm sorry i don't have the power to ignore my problems? in all honesty yes, carlos is right about one thing, i am sad, but not all the time, not everyday, just like everyone else, i have my good days and i have my bad days...is that a bad thing?



edmundo mario castillo, i'm not sure if i've ever got the chance to let you know exactly how much you mean to me, and i hate with a passion that i'm writing this on the internet because i'd much rather let you know face to face so you can see the sincerity in my face...therefore i'll just wait til' thursday





i hate every inch of the situation we're in...