dear all of you,

lately like always, i spend more time in my head then i do living outside. my thoughts cloud most of the perimeter of my head, my brain, my psychosis...
i have seasaw torment of moods, i can't help it, i don't know how to strap them down, or bring them to some kind of normality. forgive me NOt.
lately though, or for the past few months, i've loved, i've lost, i've lusted, i've been busted, i've trusted, i've hated, i've mated, i've dated, i've forgave, i've forgotten, i've gained, i've wanted, i've needed.
selfish? much?

people places things, her emotions swing.

"friends", aquaintences, peers
are the only categories i can honestly put people in.
don't feel bad, rejected, or belittled
it's all i'm allowing myself to put people in. for safety purposes.
people make me sick, disgusted, at the fact that you guys try SO hard.
you guys get dramatic over the littlest things, your not true, your not you.
you tell me to trust you, yet you open your mouth about me. this applies to more than just one.
it doesn't matter to who, it just matters that you did. you don't care even if you say you do, you can write it on a piece of paper 666 times, and i still won't believe you.
your inmature, your a little kid. sure, i may have not experienced the things you have, but that doesn't mean that i haven't gone through things and that i don't go through things.
get out of your selfish pathetic big head, and take other people into consideration for once, take their feelings on how you act, what you say, what you do, take it all into consideration how you treat them.
if you don't it's not my fault, that's ure karma not mine. but i'm not gonna put up with this anymore, not not, not ever. i'm done with people like this.
step into my shoes, live my life, live with my family, my circumstances, my problems, my situations, be trapped in my mind, and tell me how you cope when you have no one who sincerely cares.
because i don't, you don't, we all don't.
you can scream your sorry, you'll change, you'll try your hardest to be different.
and i won't hear anything...

i'm headed a different direction within myself, and literally too. i don't need anyone or anything to drag me down, and i am more than sure that i don't need this little kid drama in my life.
my mind has left high school years ago, but apparantly yours hasn't.
don't forget it applies for more than one.

i only dream to meet someone true, real, natural, care free. but like i said i "dream".
no matter what friends you have, what people you meet, they're always going to talk shit.
if they talk shit about people to you, they are bound to turn around and do the same thing.
i'd rather be stabbed in the front than in the back. if ure as 'real' as you claim to be then do it. prove it.
i'm not saying i'm perfect, i'm the most "realest" person out there. but i don't bull shit, and i don't put up with it either.
wisdom comes with age.
i've been screwed over one too many times to give others a chance.
don't blame me, blame yourselves.

welcome to my world, leave while you have the chance...