looking back

regardless of all the things we've been through, i miss every single one you in in these pictures.
you guys were honestly the only true friends i've ever had.
and my stupidity, and my pride let you guys go or actually pushed you guys away.

when in actuality you all were the only positive friends in my life trying to help me rather than hurt me.
and as i'm sober and able to look back at everything i see that now, and i'm not sure you'll ever forgive me but i'm sorry. for the words that i've ever said, the things that i've done, what i've chosen over you, or the so-called friends i've ever compared you guys too.
through thick and thin all of you fought to put up with me.
and all i ever did was push you away, and made excuses to push you away when it was not even that.
i've gone through so many things in my life and i'm sure you guys were too, and once again i didn't think about anyone but myself. i didn't consider the fact that you might just be going through something yourself. i just thought about me and my stubborn ass.
that doesn't matter now, because look i'm the one left with no friends.
and you were right chela, it happens to me all the time because i push people away.
i'm going to admit i was wrong, to all of you.

i know that's not going to bring you back but i hope in time you will forgive me.
i love having people with a real struggle just like me, not 'friends' with little petti things going on in there life that really don't matter. i like real people, like me. and every single one of you in the photos above were real. and ARE the realest people i've ever met. and by far the best and most strongest people i've ever met.
you guys will forever have a place in my heart.
you guys will forever be my best friends.

and one day, i hope you come to forgive me for all that i've done.
no one has touched my life the way you guys have.
and this isn't to anyone of you specific, it's to all of you.

thank you for all that you guys have done and for helping me with my life, and thank you for always being there for me.

i love you guys, and i miss you with all my heart and soul.
truthfully♥


the song yesterday by atmosphere is dedicated to you guys, minus the fact that it's for his father, pretend it says your names
:p