enough

has been enough.
HONESTLY.


technically we haven't been boyfriend and girlfriend for over a week.
and well you are sure treating me like it to.
i've never cried or been so sad in my whole entire life, and of all times my pregnancy.
the truth, it's all because of you Leo.

i'm like so over you.
i'm so over fighting to make this work, i gave all i had to give and i have nothing left but tears.
i have no strength left within me to keep fighting this fight to make it work.
you don't love me and you never did.
you loved the thought of who i was when we got together.
the lokota that you always dreamed of.
the one who was down to get drunk with you anytime anywhere.
the one who did every fucking drug you can think of with you.
the one who would stay up with you all on tweak drawing til' 8 am.
the one who opened her legs to you 24/7.

yeah, that's who you liked.
that's who you miss.
that's who you want back.
that's who you would fight to keep.
her.
the old me.

not this mommy to be. not the girl whose grown to be a woman. not the one whose matured. not the one who gave up her old life to start a new one. not the one whose now living her life in favor of her daughter. not the one who changed everything about who she was!

i'm a different person now, i see things differently, i want different things, i'm not the girl i was and she's dead and gone.

but you don't like that. you hate that. you hate who i am, you hate who i've become.

i've been having contractions lately, practice contractions.
that's not supposed to happen til' late in the 3rd trimester...LATE.
i barely started last week, stress can lead to a premi baby.

i'd hate myself and you if that were to ever happen.
i need to step away from you for the safety of my baby's health.


you are taking this too fucking far.