My heart, my soul, my mind, everything about me belonged to you.
My days, my thoughts, my time, my tears, my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my future, I put it all in your hands.
Little did I know, I was just a pawn in your game.
I wasn't someone you took serious.
And if I was, I didn't mean anything to you.
I was easily replaced, with trash.
Not even anything flattering but blatant sewage.
It feels like I put hours and hours, and years and years and years of work into building a house.
Storms would come, and destroy it...but I would continue to keep building even after the damage.
I didn't want to stop until it was done.
Because that was my home, that I put my own blood, sweat, and tears into.
Only for it to literally be given to someone else.
And now I have to sit here, and watch someone else enjoy the home that I built.
And I am pinned with tape around my mouth, watching in agony as everything I endured and worked so hard for was taken from me overnight.
Literally overnight the life that I knew was ripped from me.
The floor beneath my feet collapsed, and I went down with it.
I am in the process of rebuilding my new home.
By myself.
It gets lonely, and that's why I'm here right now.
The last tie that Andrew and I have together is forcibly (out of my control) being removed.
That last thing that both of our names are attached to in which we've had to deal with one another...his car.
He totaled it, so it's going away.
We're getting a check and he is getting off my insurance.
And that is going to be the last of him and I.
Other than us finally getting divorced.
The original plan was for him to adopt my daughters, but his girlfriend convinced him otherwise.
I brought it up to him and he changed his mind again.
Although whenever he gets mad, he takes it back.
And uses adopting them against me, like it's a damn game.
So a big part of my just wants to divorce him and not even bother with the adoption.
I don't trust him.
I don't know entirely what to do.
Hello Estherville. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post. Coming your profile on the blogger before me is not an accident. God wants to release you from the bondage of Satan. I am reminded of the scripture from 1st Peter 5: 6- 11 " Humble yourselves, therefore. under God's mighty hand, that He may life you up in due time 7 Caste your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 8 Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls arond like a roaring lion looking for some one to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in thefaith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are underging the same kind of sufferings. 10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong firm and steadfast. 11 To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen" This is my prayer for you . I love getting connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged,s trengthened and praying for one another. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 40 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where richest of rich and the pooest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokeneharted. WE also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We would love to have you come to Mumbai to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. LOOKING forward to hear from you very . Praying for you. May the peace of God be with you as you seek Him. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede.
ReplyDelete