Miss Steak

My mistake is thinking or believing that this is something more than what it is.
My mistake is seeing something in the distance instead of what is right in front of me.
My mistake is being in the same place I was with him, with you.
My mistake is taking what you say literal.
My mistake is prolonging the end.


I'm here again, writing while he sleeps.
Because you could come inside and fall asleep without kissing me hello.
You couldn't even tell me how your day was.
But you were already annoyed that I asked you for a kiss.
Once again, demented bliss.
Because I don't want to be alone.
Because I don't have a home.
I will tolerate another massacre because this one has more perks than the last.
You and him are still the same, you just bare a different name.
The only reason this works is because I don't love me.
You prey on the weak because you are weak too.
But you are good at pretending.
And I am good at needing someone, to fill the void that I can't seem to fill on my own.
Co-dependent maybe, or lonely.
Whatever suites.
I can't bring myself to leave even tho it's getting more painful by the day.
I don't believe in anything or anyone anymore.
You have all won.
You monsters.

I can't bring myself to cry.
I ache.


I'll finish this later...