conf00zled?

just a tad bit
i'm not exactly sure what's going on in my mind
ha, cuz i'm always under the influence
:ppppp

but yea, i'm getting my thoughts straight,
well i find it either ironic or weird for the fact that once i give up on boys, they all come in hurds ya know? Like i recently gave up on the boy i've been infatuated with for 2 years, and i finally gave him up, and just gave up in general, and now i have like 4 or 5 boys to think about.
But there's just 1 i think i actually like, cuz i think there's more to him than meets the eye. I mean he likes to talk, and not dirty talk, like about me talk, and about him talk, which is a change in sense. We'll seee...and the other one who i've been talking to on and off for 41/2 years, well he has a baby, and is still with his baby mamma, but yet wants me on the side? um, CHALE i ain't diggin that, i'm your one and only or nothing at alll. sorrrrry
&& i think if i go out with the guy that i do like, he will help me get my shit straight and i think he would be good for me.

&& i'm sure your not surprised that i started smoking again, like heavily again. I've been smoking for an eternity now, and it's really hard to stop, i mean it's a feeling you can't get any other way. some people say that being high is just a state of mind and you don't need weed to get there, well um, they lied cuz it is NOT a state of mind and you can't get high any other way. stupid, idk speaking of weed i got to the highest extent of stoned or high, the other night at sandra's, sunday? yes, it was amazing, with some amazing asss people, they made it so fun, every single person there was high, and it was just great. I couldn't ask for anything else to make my week better.

It was super duper nice to hang with shy, i missed her so much, and it was nice to see maryohh too, the best friends, i miss them both. i just hope that, us hanging out wasn't a one time thing and it happens again. But i still have yet to hang out with maryohh, =[
i'm not gonna count on it, or make any plans though, cuz everytime i do it's always the same outcome, some sort of cancellation, sigh...but there's nothing i can do to change it, cuz hey, atleast i try

and home life, i'd rather leave it alone, or not speak of it anyways, cuz it just makes me frustrated

&& work, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>:[
you should get it, i mean it's not that bad at all, it's just the boss, constantly everyday of my life nagggs on me about my clothes and how they should be more 'forever 21 attire' um, i'm sorry i'm not rich and can't afford to buy clothes everyday. I just hate it, i mean i feel like i'm PAYING to work there, it's just annoying cuz even the days i do dress 'forever 21 attire' it still is never enough, and i won't go on, don't worry though, i'm looking for another job [[that requires UNIFORM]]
=D



"yea, i want it, but no, i don't need it"