if

i could make you feel all the pain the i do, i would love that.
as horrible as it sounds i would really just love to sock the shit out of you, or slap the shit out of you, in hopes that what you make me feel emotionally i can make you feel that physically.
since you are a piece of shit souLESS ass hole.
i see your true colors.
and they are ugly as fuck.
i grow to hate you more and more every single day.
i start crying to you about you getting high last night, you don't have a job or anything to be doing that.
you have NOTHING for me or your child, NOTHING, niente, nada!
and you're being responsible and looking for a job, how the fuck hard is it to stay fucking clean for a month and get a job?
it's not, it's fucking not.

and the moment i start to cry to you about how careless and selfish you getting high last night was, you say "stop bringing up the past! you just want to fight" no Leo NO NO NO NO NO!
you are a dumb fucking fuck!
unlike you i try to deal with all my problems, notice them, and talk about them until they're solved.
i'm not a fake fuck like you, that doesn't want to deal with them and pretends like nothing ever happened.
be fucking REAL, REAL.
look it up in the dictionary if you don't know the fucking word.

so yeah, we got on a subject you didn't feel like talking about so you broke up with me, and told me to let you know how the baby is doing because you are a pathetic excuse for a fucking man.
you are a little ass bitch. you can't control me in the ways you would want to.
you would love to cut me off from any communication thats not you. you want to consume my thoughts. you want me to be all sprung on you and in love with you. you want me to treat you like you're my fucking master. you want sex when YOU want it. whatever you want you better get right then and there right?
i'm fucking sorry, that'll never happen.
i'm not that girl, and i never will be.

since that's what you want, i'm sorry that's not me.
apparantly you've been with the wrong girl this whole time.
honestly Leo, honestly the only thing that ever was good in this whole relationship was our sex life.
other than that it was shit and piss.
every once and a while we'd have a good day.
but those were rare.

we just both need to come to terms that we don't see eye to eye. we come from two different families. we're from two different worlds or even planets.
maybe this...us...is never going to work.
no matter what goes down between us, in your eyes, in your mind it's always my fault, and when i explain to you how it's not, you walk away or hang up.
like a fucking PERRA that you are.

you're not ready to be a dad, and if you're going to try you're going to be a sorry ass dad.
so just please since me and you are both over, i pray that somewhere in your heartless self you find the heart to sign over your daughter to me. i don't want you in any part of her life.

opening my legs to you was the hugest mistake that i'll have to live with.
i told you you were going to make me hate you.
i was going to grow calace over your name  in my heart.

you drained whatever love i had left for you.
so blame yourself when you're rotting in that jail sell.
because if i'm not in your life, i know that's where you'll be headed.


i saved you Leonardo Castro, for these shitty fucking 7 months, i saved your life.
in all kinds of situations.
you'll realize it one day.
but i know not any time soon.
or maybe ever.


i loveD you always, but always doesn't mean forever.