somehow someway,

everything you do wrong, seems to be my fault.

or the situation gets turned around on me.

you disappear for 4 hours no call, you're not home, no sign of Leo anywhere

but i get the whole "you went out with your friends the other night so don't bitch at me"

yeah dumb fuck, but i told you where i was going and actually i was at my sisters house!

UGHHHHHHHHHH!

i wish i could choke you or something, but i really wouldn't

the thought just sounds real nice.

i'm always the one waiting on you, like seriously i say it all the time and it's true.

nothing i have ever done to you will ever amount to the pain you put me through in one day.

nothing i have ever said to you will ever amount to the horrible things you've said to me.

you don't care, you honestly don't care for the simple fact that no matter what i do you know i'll always be right here.

right where you want me.

taking you back every time with open arms.

so forgiving. so loving.

and that is why you continue do to what you do to me, you continue to live that life, because you know i'll always be on the other end of the phone line happily.

you know that not matter how bad you hurt me, or how hurtful the things you said were...i'll still be here waiting on you.

and that's why.

because i can put an end to it, if i had the strength.

my weakness is you. you're weakness is losing power over me.

the moment i show that i have strength against you and you're ways, you turn your act around instantly, but once i take you back you get comfortable, and the cycle starts again.

you are an emotional abuser.

you are a mental terrorist.

you are who i am in love with unfortunately.

but i wish i wasn't.

no one has ever hurt me the way that you do, and all you do is take advantage of me.

OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

talking to Lexis and her venting to me about her relationship and how it's the spitting image of ours, just like magnified the picture of how horrible you are to me.

and how stupid i am for still being with you.

i don't understand this, i don't understand this at all. 

i don't understand how i still stay with you after all you put me through, mentally i'm gone.

i would say, well relationship wise.

we're walking on egg shells, on a daily basis.

and i hate it.

but if i allow you to treat me this way and get away with it you will, and you do.

i just need to put a stop to it.

the batteries for this "relationship" are seriously running on E, possibly i freezer might make them work, but only momentarily, after that she's gone...