HORRIBLE.
I kinda feel like a black widow.
After they mate they kill their partners.
It was unintentional, I didn't do it on purpose.
I made a huge mistake.
God had been dealing with me for the past couple days about this.
Being in a relationship has made me realize how much I want to be alone.
It made me realize how in love I am with God.
The last thing on my mind is a distraction, obviously I'm not deeply rooted in Christ enough to resist my flesh completely.
But lust was what I've struggled with, like an addict.
I did it to myself, I put myself in the situation and allowed it to continue.
Never have I felt so horrible.
I felt like I cheated on God.
And I felt even worse because this guy was a man of God, and well a virgin.
And I took that from him.
I stole what belonged to his wife.
Even though he was my boyfriend, I so t care.
I don't want anyone right now.
Except God.
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