What it's like

 Loving you

Being with you...

What it takes...

Watch this heart break

Watch you make another mistake

As I say my vows of permanence 

Just to tolerate this turbulence 

Another knife to the collection of the ones already in my back

Another excuse to justify the reasons you lack

You promise the future to be sunny only after the rain

You say in order to be happy you first, have to endure the pain

If I want this to last I have to handle all the distance

If I omit weakness you'll only offer your resistance 

 I asked why you're still here and you said "because we're in too deep"

Meaning without this pregnancy this relationship wouldn't be something I'm able to keep

Is this love or did we just settle

You make me feel like this isn't something special

You said my three years will never amount to her ten

Constantly being compared to a time back then

You ache over an expiration date

Making those days on the calendar something you anticipate

There is no interest in me

You only enjoy the security and reoccurring stability 

The excitement is gone

I can tell you're counting down the days until you can move on

"After the baby" is my daily reminder

That you're not here to stay you'll be off to find 'her'

It's just an addiction 

One of your many afflictions

Your constant need for connection and friction

What I provide will never be sustainable

I'm in competition with a ghost that is irreplaceable

Ehhh I can't finish right now but yeah...you get it